What’s your reaction when you hear someone say to you, “Can I give you some feedback?”
Many people react to receiving feedback by feeling dread, hesitation, and defensiveness. Interestingly, this same reaction occurs when your manager tells you they are joining you so they can observe your performance and give feedback. In a classic sales context, when your manager informs you they’re coming to ride in the field with you, the first reaction is…what did I do wrong?
Why is it that the feedback process is often viewed as punitive?
We need to change that perception to one where people welcome feedback and coaching.
Let’s start by looking at the definition of feedback. If you look at this definition from Merriam Webster, it even starts with the grim and gory version of feedback – suggesting its “evaluative” or “corrective” in nature. While this is the perception, the reality is that corrective action is not just about fixing things that are wrong or broken but learning from the successes and applying those key learnings going forward.
The phrasing of the second definition, to return to the input part of the output – in order to improve performance – perhaps comes closer to the essence of good feedback. It’s a cyclical process of identifying and refining what works and what needs to be refined. And requires us to FEED – BACK that information in order to better the outcome over time.
So, where do we start? With good inputs, of course! As humans, we have a tendency to miss the observable moment and immediately interpret what we see or hear happening.
There’s a saying about Leadership that If you don’t show who you are as a leader, others will make it up for you. First impressions count, as we quickly evaluate who a person is based on an initial observation. But true observation for the purpose of giving feedback requires a keener eye.
By observations we mean specific descriptions of behavior. Observations are objective descriptions of what was seen, heard or read, without interpretations or conclusions. An example might be.
Direct observation of behavior can happen with customers during field rides, during project meetings, or when engaging in team meetings.
Other times we get indirect observations such as feedback from others or reading emails or reports.
Interpretations are our assumptions or conclusions about what is mostly likely going on in a situation, why it is occurring that way, and what the outcome will be.
Let’s hear how this might sound: You are obviously not committed to this team.
Just hearing the second one triggers all sorts of emotions and reactions.
Objective observation is especially important. An effective coach must be well prepared with solid facts, clear intentions, calm delivery. In order to do this, start with a clear (adv slide) picture of what “good” looks like in terms of behavior and performance. Defining this will help you to (bullets).
SO let’s dig into some best practices to ensure you are identifying and delivering balanced, behavioral feedback.
Set your feedback intentions. Reframe how you view feedback; it’s not about negatives, punishment, or criticism; is about future change. The true nature of feedback is the idea that we can learn, develop, and adapt over time. SO, in order to set your intentions towards development, get away from the idea of “correcting mistakes” and consider your intentions to make what’s good even better, refine your approach, learn from experience.
Balance your feedback. As part of the reframing, don’t think of feedback as positive and negative; think about feedback as plusses and deltas, which is simply the math symbol for difference or change. If you always give “plus/delta” feedback, by default you’ll balance the identification of repeatable behaviors that can become best practices AND the things to change or do differently next time. Look to document and share…(slide)
Anchor your feedback in the “quotable quotes.” Since we tend to quickly interpret what we see, adopt a behavioral approach to capturing and sharing your feedback using the acronym: QBO. Picture the moment: you’re observing your team member, and you hear them ask a great Q…so you write down, “great question!” in anticipation of sharing this feedback later. But when the feedback time comes, telling the team member “you asked great questions” won’t help them identify the repeatable behaviors. Instead, get in the habit of writing down the quotable quotes – what the person actually says that demonstrates the great question (in this example). Then, when it’s feedback time, you can share Quote which is the true behavior, anchor it to the name of the Behavior you heard, and then share the Outcome or impact of that behavior, which underscores the value of that action taken. From this, the person knows what they said or did, which is anchored in the moment of impact, and they can consciously make a choice to repeat that behavior or change it for the next time.
Value positive feedback as highly as the “deltas.” Marcus Buckingham, author of Stand Out, emphasizes that we should play to our strengths, not our weaknesses. In this case, the attention and effort we put into clearly giving specific behavioral feedback should apply to the positive behaviors as well as the ones we want to develop or change. Think about it; if someone is doing something well, and you can highlight specifically what they’re doing, and why it has an impact, this is a repeatable behavior. You want to see more of these behaviors on the job!
Sharing positive feedback at the beginning of a feedback session should not just be throwaway praises. In fact, this can be counterproductive, as people wait for you to stop sharing vague platitudes and praise so you’ll get to the REAL feedback…the negatives. And we wonder why people dread receiving feedback. Seek to share QBO feedback around the positive behaviors so that you build conscious awareness of the great things that your people do, which will encourage those behaviors to be repeated over time. When you place equal attention and clarity around delivering positive feedback as you do to share the deltas, your team begins to expect thoughtful, balanced feedback that helps them invest in their own development and see a clear path of success and learning. This is when we shift the perspective of the value of coaching and feedback to one where your team welcomes, values, and often seeks out your feedback.